Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in dilutedsunshine's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, September 3rd, 2005
11:17 pm	So i wrote a poem x.x I can't write poetry, by the way. Absolutely CANNOT. Sometimes i get it into my head that i can. So i try, and then two hours later i look back at it and i'm like, "O.o" But i wrote one just now anyway, in full possession of my senses. I just can't get Sean out of my head. I'm remembering things about him, stuff that should have tipped me off to how serious he was. I just didn't get it. If i had time I would hold you like you wanted me to. I would sing you a song And that song would cure you. If i could steal into the past I would find the poison in your heart. I would kill it so completely That you would forget how to hurt. I wish i had seen you. I wish i hadn't been so blind. I wish you had dropped the facade. I wish that i could turn back time. If we had another chance, I would be your hero. I'd be your light. You took away all our second chances In your final try at flight. Current Mood: sad Current Music: Talk, Coldplay
think of me
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
11:32 am	I think i will rearrange my room today. Like everyone cares oh-so-much that i have to write it in my lj x.x But i'm bored. And i don't want to start until my parents leave for the day, because they will take my keyboard away. I'll still have the mouse and phone though, but i'm babysitting all day. Jesus. Current Mood: bored Current Music: Angel Dust, Gravitation
1 thought | think of me
Friday, April 8th, 2005
11:09 pm	Just a quick note- being in love is weird because you can be getting really pissed off at work and then feel him near you and be all like, "Oh yeah! Teehee!"n It's making me feel bipolar XD
2 thoughts | think of me
Sunday, February 27th, 2005
10:21 pm	Oh god...
think of me
Friday, February 11th, 2005
7:24 am	never mind... phone still dead. might get it fixed. might just smash it. x.x Jenneh's solo is tomorrow evening!! leave a message here if you need a ride!
2 thoughts | think of me
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
10:43 pm	Stolen from DMO ^_^ LJ Friends Meme by coolerq • You must tell 9 people about this game. • Jon is the one that you love. • Gabe is one you like but can't work out. • You care most about Jenneh. • Allison is the one who knows you very well. • Charlene is your lucky star. • Past the Point of No Return is the song that matches with Jon. • Stella Errans is the song for Gabe. • Here's to the Night is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. • and Only Love is the song telling you how you feel about life Take this quiz Well, some of it is eerily true, and some of it is a little off ^_^'' The part about the songs is dead-on though! XD Whew. Goodnight!
think of me
Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
9:05 am	FINALLY! Way to be, like, two weeks late, you son of a bitch!!
4 thoughts | think of me
Friday, January 14th, 2005
12:19 am	Tomorrow... past the point of no return. ::ooooh, i feel so secretive!:: Phantom run tomorrow! Er, later today.... Anyway, showtime is at 7:05 Friday evening. Call my cell if you can make it so we can save seats! So far we have Jon ( ^_____^ ), Kelsey, Megan (oh god, i know i'm spelling your name wrong!), and Bri coming. I've probably forgotten someone already. Jesus. Anyway, call me!! And just as a side note, you people are fucking impossible to organize, i mean, really. As for the mood... that's for me to know! XD Current Mood: horny Current Music: Closer, Nine Inch Nails
5 thoughts | think of me
Thursday, January 13th, 2005
3:17 pm	I love how on LInux, i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing... but it's cool. XD Jon set it up for me and now i heart it! Linux is the cruel sadistic master computer thing that i've always wanted! (Not to be confused with just sucking. Which Windows does) Anyway, though, i did really crappy on my final exams. UNT is looking iffy. I would be depressed but really, right now, i might just kill something if my parents make me go to community college. Oh! Yeah, so i got this cute little knife in Colorado that i've been dying to try out! I got to school and was like, "Hmmm..." So i tried it out in the bathroom, and... IT SUCKS!! I mean, it's a nice little practical knife, but exactos work soooo much better. Made me sad. I was standing there, like sawing at my hand... ack. It barely bled. Bah. Stupid knife. ::cuddles Achilles:: And if my mom would ever just get up and type in the password to Dad's computer, i could finish up my stupid church service project and go out. But no. ::punjab lasso:: Tegan! Tegan is the best wife ever!! She cooks! She's brought food for us at lunch today and yesterday, spaghetti and hamburgers and bratwurst!! Eeee!!! Of course, as fate would have it, she chooses the week i'm trying to lose weight ::rolls eyes:: But damn, that spaghetti was so good.
8 thoughts | think of me
Monday, January 10th, 2005
9:29 pm	FIRST: First best friend: Gabe First car: '97 Pontiac Sunfire First real kiss: Stephen First break-up: Steven First screen name: eecreadsalot First funeral: i've never been to one First pets: Cleo and Gracie, both cats First piercing: none yet First true love: haha, it isn't difficult to guess! LAST: Last cigarette: none Last car ride: today, coming back from karate Last kiss: oh god. ::counts:: year and a half ago... x.x Last good cry: i think Saturday XD i squeeze as many in as possible, i'm addicted, really Last library book checked out: hm... Servant of the Bones, by Anne Rice, a year ago. my mom took it away, i think it's still in her room Last movie seen: Phantom of the Opera! Last phone call: Jon Last time showered: this morning Last shoes worn: sketchers, i think Last CD played: my crazy CD with Illuminati and Ave Maria, as well as other songs Last item bought: Dracula, by Bram Stoker, from BAM Last annoyance: Conor's creepy, loud, open mouthed breathing. ugh. it's gross. Last time wanting to die: ... ehhhh....... Last shirt worn: purple 3-quarters sleeve. which is probably waaaaayyy to gape-y in the front. i hate having breasts. Last website visited: gaia Last word you said: "'Bye" Last song you sang: Music of the Night, Phantom of the Opera Last movie you rented: me personally? Moonchild Last movie you bought: Silence of the Lambs. ohhh, Hannibal. Last song that was stuck in your head: Claire de Lune, by Claude Debussy Last person you called: Jon Last person who called you: Jon... we did this question already. Last TV show you watched: season premiere of 24!! ::squee:: Last person you were thinking of: ^_^ i don't think i'll say. Last person who slept in your bed other than you: Lisa Last person who saw you cry: ... ::thinks waaaayy back:: Gabe. sophomore year. oh, unless you count Phantom showings. then, like, half of Flower Mound. Last person you went to the movies with: Kay-chan, Alli, Greg, Liz, Kelly Last person who yelled at you: a Sunday School teacher. i am not being religious enough. jesus. Last person who sent you an email: Johnny Last person you hugged?: Kay-chan Last person you yelled at?: Kay-chan ^_^ Last person you laughed with?: Jon Last person you had a crush on?: hmmm, i won't say! CURRENT: Current mood: sleepy-happy Current music: Color Me Blood Red, Malice Mizer Current taste: popcorn Current hair: slightly wavey Current clothes: jeans and the purple silk top Current annoyance(s): ... i want to cut with my pretty new knife, but we're getting into less-clothing weather, and my parents would see. Current desktop picture: Phantom of the Opera XD Current hate: fat... along with my general personal appearance ONE OR THE OTHER: 1. Black or white? black 2. Boxers or briefs? boxers. silk ones. with roses. betcha that's what Erik wears. ::Phantom smut:: 3. Coke or Pepsi? ew. 4. Salt or pepper? sugar 5. Sweet or sour? sweet 6. Vanilla or chocolate? chocolate 7. Happy or Scary movies? scary 8. Watch a sunrise/sunset? last time i tried to watch a sunrise with someone... we both got locked out of our respective dorms in our pajamas... so sunset XD 9. Silly or serious romantic? sadistic romance 10. Candle lit dinner in a restaurant or at home? depends on the atmosphere MY FAVORITE... 1. Color: purple, or else deep rose red 2. Song: Past the Point of No Return, Phantom of the Opera 3. Scents: whatever my parents got for free for buying so much at Victoria Secret 4. Alcoholic Beverage: cheap strawberry wine 5. Food: coffee ice cream! 5 THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW 1. a ridiculous amount of rings 2. a shirt 3. pants 4. undies 5. mismatched socks 5 THINGS YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED 1. go blank until i see/hear things 2. write short letters that never get sent 3. write unseemly long, Victorian-style letters which do get sent... often to my later regret 4. sing 5. pretend 5 PEOPLE THAT NEVER FAIL TO CHEER YOU UP 1. Gabe 2. Dylan 3. Allison 4. Gerard Butler in a cape and mask 5. ... i have the ability to become depressed no matter the situation or company. x.x THINGS YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT 1. people 2. human contact 3. imagination RANDOM QUESTIONS... 1. What should you be doing right now? sleeping, likely 2. Define freakish: how stupid Raoul is. that's just not right. hand at the level of your eyes, you dumb fop! 3. Is ice cream the best thing in the world? i haven't had sex yet, so aside from the "warm, unspoken secret" of that, i would have to say, "Yes, it most certainly is." 4. What would your dream date be? hmmm... something darkly romantic... a boatride around a certain underground lake, perhaps, with a slightly evil tenor singing behind me XD 5. Do you consider yourself a romantic? to a fault! 6. What room is your computer in? mine, thank god! 7. What is your shoe size? 9. i have huge clown feet. x.x 9. Who do you consider your best friend? that's not a fair question, but in any case, Gabe. but here, at the moment? i love all my friends tremendously. 10. Do you have braces? nope 11. Do you wear glasses/ contacts? yes HAVE YOU EVER.. Had a crush on someone? yes! haha. Wished you could live somewhere else? yes, often enough. Had a long distance relationship? yes ^_^ Used someone? it's likely Killed people? i have wanted to, seriously, to kill someone; he deserves it. Driven drunk? no Been arrested? almost Cried over a boy/girl? all the time ^_^ Been in a fist fight? yes... it was an enjoyable experience Said "I love you" and meant it? yes Gone out in public in your pajamas? haha, yes Cried during a movie? must you ask? Been on stage? yes! i thought i would die. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Illuminati, Malice Mizer
think of me
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
8:02 pm	Come to me, Angel of Music... You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge, In pursuit of that wish, which till now has been silent, silent I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge In your mind you've already succumbed to me Dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me, Now you are here with me; no second thoughts, You've decided; Decided... Past the point of no return - no backward glances. Our games of make-believe are at an end. Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting. Abandon thought, and let the dream descend. What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us? Past the point of no return; the final threshold What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return... You have brought me to that moment where words run dry To that moment where speech disappears into silence; Silence... I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why. In my mind, I've already imagined Our bodies entwining defenseless and silent... And now I am here with you; No second thoughts; I've decided. Decided... Past the point of no return No going back now. Our passion-play has now, at last, begun. Past all thought of right or wrong; One final question: How long should we two wait before we're one? When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last consume us? Past the point of no return. The final threshold; The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn! We've passed the point of no return... You'll know who you are- you're just who i'm reminded of when i hear this song now. Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Past the Point of No Return, Phantom of the Opera
think of me
4:15 pm	HOSHIT I JUST REALIZED I HAVE SENIOR OUT, YESSSSSS!!!!!!!! Also, i took a shower, and all my clothes are dirty from the trip. Must wait for laundry to dry. But i have senior out!!!!!!!!
4 thoughts | think of me
2:26 pm	Colorado is cold. Very, very cold. But it was fun. We went skiing, and i fell on my butt numerous times. It hurts. I have bruises all over my legs. But it was fun. It snowed a lot. We went snowmobiling to the Continental Divide, and i fell off the mountain. No, really. I did. I hate snowmobiles. They're loud and smelly and cold. And i can't control them. So i kinda, um... went off the ridge. And fell off the stupid thing and tumbled quite some ways. Thus falling off the mountain. x.x Actually, it was really scary, because everyone else just kept going over the ridge, and everything was so white... it was like they were leaving me. Really scary... didn't like it. That, and my big fat nose got frostbite or something. Ouch. But it was fun. Shopping was fun. We saw camels on the way back to Texas. Not just like, two. A whole herd. It was really weird. And yes, the Phantom most certainly existed. Current Mood: tired
1 thought | think of me
Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
12:39 pm	Down once more to the dungeons of my black despair; down we plunge to the prison of my mind! Off to Colorado today. Am now more convinced than ever that there is truth behind the Phantom story. No, i have not been dreaming about it. At all. For the past week, every night. I miss you guys already!! Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Down Once More, Phantom of the Opera
think of me
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
9:00 pm	So i've been reading a ton of rumors about a body being found beneath the Paris Operahouse. There really is a lake down there, too. Pretty awesome... ::gets phangirl hopes up:: Gaston Leroux insisted until his death that his book was no work of fiction... In other news, i fucking hate spoilers. Now i know what happens to Erik in the book. Jesus. I'm going to go cry now... or read some Phantom smut... or something... Ohmygawd, i have to get my hands on The Phantom, by Susan Kay. It looks sooooo fucking good. I want. But it's like, 100 dollars. No kidding, look it up on Amazon and eBay. Now i'm really going to cry. Oh yeah. I'll be out of town this week. I dunno when i'm coming back. My cell phone will be off most of the time, but i'll check my messages when i can, so call me... or i might kill a brother. ::PUNJAB LASSO:: Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again, Phantom of the Opera
think of me
2:48 pm	Clearing something up... WILL IS NOT A BIG JERK FOR DITCHING US! I heard him wrong on the phone. You're welcome to hit me.
think of me
1:19 pm	Hide your face, so the world can never find you... "I was walking on the water, I could see the life below me, Fear clutched me, although I knew that I was safe But then i was falling through the nature's floor, I was sinking I tried to grasp for help, but the world was sinking And my hope was thin My lungs were broken And I was like a sunken ship Old, and forgotten Unmissed But no one could ever save me I was sinking" A poem by Corey M. Hmmm... amazing what you can google up, really. Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Twisted Every Way, Phantom of the Opera
think of me
12:05 pm	You must be always on your guard, or he will catch you with his magical lasso! So i've stumbled on this Phantom contest that Kay-chan and i plan on entering. You get tons of awesome Phantom stuff, and you have to fill out a questionaire and email it in. In order to qualify for the grand prize, you also have to send them a WAV file of yourself singing some of a Phantom song. So i've got a palm pilot that records your voice and i've been singing into it all morning... And it makes me depressed. Wow. I really thought i could sing better than that... but my voice is really weak and i'm off a lot. Ugh >.< Very frustrating. ( Fun with Phantom )
think of me
Friday, December 31st, 2004
1:04 pm	Phantom of the Opera does not get old. I don't care who you are or what you think, it is fecking AWESOME! If you didn't like it, quit lying to yourself. You loved it. You thought the Phantom was hot. Yes you did. I'm rather proud of myself, actually. Kay-chan is already calling him Erik. Kelly is well on her way. Elizabeth agrees that Christine chose the wrong guy. YES! What a lovely little bunch of phans we are here, yes... Kay-chan also officially has the best Phantom icons around, EVER!! She's so talented. What else was i going to say...? Hmmm... i can't remember. Only that i wish we could all live in the Phantom's world of music. EDIT: BTW, Will, way to ditch us without even calling. ::pout:: Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Past the Point of No Return, Phantom of the Opera
2 thoughts | think of me
Thursday, December 30th, 2004
10:10 pm	::sigh:: Thus ends my mandatory run at anorexia. At IHOP. With uber-chocolate pancakes. Damn, were they good. Every so often, i get all like, "OMG! No food." And i don't eat for a few days. Then i bitch and moan and pig out and feel awful and my stint ends. Bah. I always feel so gross after i eat, though. My stomach goes all smooth and concave for a day or so, and then i eat and it bulges out again. I hate that. In any case, i'm sitting at my computer chowing on a bowl of popcorn. All is back to normal. Blah blah blah...... Erik the Phantom is so cool. Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: Reqiuem, Sarah Brightman
5 thoughts | think of me